I
found myself completely absorbed in my life as a Mom and a wife for many years.
My happiness was dependent on everyone else's happiness level, and I was
responsible for being maid, taxi, and secretary for my family. When I got
divorced, I found myself in new territory, and I wasn't sure what to do. The
custody arrangement was set up for every other week, so when Monday rolled
around I was either elated or desolate.
I would mope around my apartment, staring at the walls, missing him. I tried to take on more projects at work just to avoid going home on those weeks, but there wasn't enough work to justify overtime. You can only clean a small apartment so many times, and you only have so much laundry when you only go to work and come home.
I knew I had to do something to fill the time when he was away. I found myself slowly starting to sew and craft just to keep me busy. Soon, the time away didn't seem so long. I then decided to try other things to see if they could keep me entertained. I found myself getting into video games, enjoying the simple pleasure of immersing myself into a world of fantasy for a couple of hours. I also found that I enjoy trying new handguns, testing their weights and calibers, focusing and using my muscles and brain in tandem to fire at the paper target. I still try to get to the range at least twice a month, if not more often.
Along the way, I met someone who became important in my life. It wasn't intentional, but I wasn't going to pass up a chance at a real connection because society told me my divorce "mourning" period wasn't over yet. Things starting working between us and eventually I moved in with him and his two girls. I was in a family again, and my world shifted. Since my partner has full custody of his two girls, they are with us all the time. My free time became non-existent now that I was caring for three children instead of just one. My son was overjoyed because he now had playmates and children around his age to interact with, which meant Mommy wasn't needed as much.
The small apartment was in a constant state of disarray, and there was ALWAYS laundry to be done. I found myself feeling anxious and stressed. Yet, I was also the happiest and most content I had ever been in an adult relationship. After talking to a few of my friends and my partner, I realized that I had again given up "Me" for "We" and that was stressing me out. Only this time, my partner was supportive enough to realize that I needed time for myself. So, I began my quest anew for a hobby. My partner and I already share a mutual love for going to the range and playing video games, so I was still enjoying those things. I needed something that was my own. I wanted to take up sewing again, but the apartment is too small for me to really work on any large projects (I make costumes). I had all my crafting supplies, but I was lost as to what to work on.
I was watching one his daughters play with her Barbies on afternoon and the idea hit me. I started scouring Craigslist for bargains and then I started gathering pieces and parts. I looked online and found plenty of sites about repainting Barbie houses and accessories. It's a combination of all the crafting I've done in my many years rolled into one hobby. As I worked on my first house, I was struck that I wanted to write about it. So, I decided to start a blog. Then I decided to start a blog about my adventures in Motherhood. All in all, I feel much better as a Mom and a partner now that I have time to devote to things I like to do and I have a family that encourages me.
Who knows, maybe I'll find another hobby to go along with these new ones.
I would mope around my apartment, staring at the walls, missing him. I tried to take on more projects at work just to avoid going home on those weeks, but there wasn't enough work to justify overtime. You can only clean a small apartment so many times, and you only have so much laundry when you only go to work and come home.
I knew I had to do something to fill the time when he was away. I found myself slowly starting to sew and craft just to keep me busy. Soon, the time away didn't seem so long. I then decided to try other things to see if they could keep me entertained. I found myself getting into video games, enjoying the simple pleasure of immersing myself into a world of fantasy for a couple of hours. I also found that I enjoy trying new handguns, testing their weights and calibers, focusing and using my muscles and brain in tandem to fire at the paper target. I still try to get to the range at least twice a month, if not more often.
Along the way, I met someone who became important in my life. It wasn't intentional, but I wasn't going to pass up a chance at a real connection because society told me my divorce "mourning" period wasn't over yet. Things starting working between us and eventually I moved in with him and his two girls. I was in a family again, and my world shifted. Since my partner has full custody of his two girls, they are with us all the time. My free time became non-existent now that I was caring for three children instead of just one. My son was overjoyed because he now had playmates and children around his age to interact with, which meant Mommy wasn't needed as much.
The small apartment was in a constant state of disarray, and there was ALWAYS laundry to be done. I found myself feeling anxious and stressed. Yet, I was also the happiest and most content I had ever been in an adult relationship. After talking to a few of my friends and my partner, I realized that I had again given up "Me" for "We" and that was stressing me out. Only this time, my partner was supportive enough to realize that I needed time for myself. So, I began my quest anew for a hobby. My partner and I already share a mutual love for going to the range and playing video games, so I was still enjoying those things. I needed something that was my own. I wanted to take up sewing again, but the apartment is too small for me to really work on any large projects (I make costumes). I had all my crafting supplies, but I was lost as to what to work on.
I was watching one his daughters play with her Barbies on afternoon and the idea hit me. I started scouring Craigslist for bargains and then I started gathering pieces and parts. I looked online and found plenty of sites about repainting Barbie houses and accessories. It's a combination of all the crafting I've done in my many years rolled into one hobby. As I worked on my first house, I was struck that I wanted to write about it. So, I decided to start a blog. Then I decided to start a blog about my adventures in Motherhood. All in all, I feel much better as a Mom and a partner now that I have time to devote to things I like to do and I have a family that encourages me.
Who knows, maybe I'll find another hobby to go along with these new ones.
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